Amy (cutedestruction) wrote,
Amy
cutedestruction

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Anniversaries and Horizons

Today is the first anniversary of my spinal diskectomy, a surgery that made it possible for me to be on the computer more than fifteen minutes at a time, that made it possible for me to work, that made it possible for me to be something other than a lump in my parent's house. The surgeon removed two bone spurs, things that they couldn't see properly in a CT scan, or even an MRI. Something they had guessed on. They could've easily found nothing there, but they didn't.

A year ago, this hour, I was waking up in the Recovery Room, and I felt better than I had in five years. That could've been the morphine, but who knows. It took a month before they let me take off the plastic neck brace, and two before they declared me fit to do things. But even before that, I was doing much better than I had been. I still have fibromyalgia. I still have health problems. But they are so much less, and I know how to deal with them.

A lot of anniversaries are coming up in the next month or so. This is the first, the one that started all of them. It is important to me.

Unsurprisingly, I got a call today that's going to have some life-changing effects. I'm not sure whether they're good or bad, yet. They want me to train to be a store manager, because they're eliminating the assistant manager positions. I'd like to be a manager, except then I'll never get to Florida. That's something I'm pretty set on, moving there. Plus, if they're 'training' me to be a manager, I'm not going to get health insurance for quite a bit longer. That's one of the major reasons I need a job- if you've read the above, you know why I need health insurance.

I'm tempted to say 'fuck it' and move to Florida anyway. I'll quit my job here and do what I always swore I wouldn't- go there with nothing and hope to god I can get work somewhere. It's a stupid thing to do. But now I know I can work, at least. So I may do it anyway.

I don't know what's going to happen. If I disappear for awhile in the next few months, that might be it. I'll try to keep people updated.
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